By Jonathan Scutt 17-1-12
Here’s a funny story! I was working on a film project with somebody who shall remain nameless. He made the comment that he had just been to the cinema & was thinking to himself:
‘One day that could be me up there on the big screen!’
It made me think this guy was a bit of a day-dreamer. (Day-dreamer is a polite term for complete wanker you understand).This might go towards explaining why the film project never got off the ground. I for one was not surprised when it all collapsed in a heap.
Well fast forward to late last year when I appeared as a flesh eating zombie in a short film called MEDICATION TIME. Originally it was called ZOMBIE WARD & when they changed the name I thought I was receiving a spam email from one of those Viagra companies & nearly deleted it on the spot!
Anyway it was a good thing I didn’t because I spent 3 pleasant days shooting what was intended to be a 7 minute film. Yes it takes 3 days to shoot 7 minutes! We spent 1 day rehearsing & 2 days filming. I’m not complaining as there was sandwiches & pastry a plenty. The only thing there wasn’t was air-conditioning & it just happened to be 2 stinking hot days. Needless to say the zombie make up was beginning to drip down my face by the end of shooting, just like it did when I appeared in ‘From Parts Unknown’. The sticky blood all over my face & hands also made it difficult to eat the sandwiches & the pastry. But I am nothing if not a trooper.
If you are day-dreaming about appearing on the big screen then making a short film for no money is hardly going to inspire you. If however you just love the whole process of filming making, from rehearsing to filming & everything in between, then it was a lot of fun.
So what has this got to do with the previously mentioned film project I hear myself ask? Well much to my surprise MEDICATION TIME is going to have its premier at the Cinema Nova in Carlton on the 24th of January at 7:00pm. This is curiously coincidental as the last time I went to the cinema was at the Cinema Nova in Carlton!
I went there to see ‘Sleeping Beauty’ which I have already blogged about & I only went there for artistic reasons I can assure you.
I went to the movies long before I auditioned for the zombie movie & long before I started auditioning for acting roles. It would have been supremely ironic if I had gone to Cinema Nova thinking to myself:
‘One day that could be me up there on the big screen’.
Instead of being a complete wanker, as I would have rightly concluded at the time, it would instead been a rather prophetic statement as I am now going to see myself up on the big screen at that very cinema!
Mere exclamation marks can’t begin to convey the sense of surprise & intrigue. Mind you I was hoping to see myself up on the big screen at Tropfest this year but that’s another story.
If the un-named person from that previously mentioned film project is reading this then I will refrain from saying: ‘Eat your heart out!’. (I might think it but I won’t say it).
So if anybody out there is free on the 24th, come along to the Cinema Nova & watch a short zombie movie. It is presented by Doutta Galla, Penguin Artists and Open Channel & is the launch of the Creative Pathways to Engagement Project. I don’t actually know much about this so I can’t illuminate on what it is about.
It’s a pity it is only 7 minutes long but there should be plenty of flesh eating & blood splattering if you like that sort of thing. Strangely enuff I’m not actually into zombie or horror movies, yet for some reason I keep appearing in them. I was hoping to appear in an award winning television sitcom of my own making but that is also another story.
By Jonathan Scutt 20/12/11
I have noticed a trend on television lately.
My beloved BIG BANG THEORY has become strangely racist! In series 1 to 3 Raj often complained to the others that they were racist towards him. In series 4 however, Raj objects to Leonard dating his sister. His sister Priya won’t tell her parents about Leonard because they are ‘old fashioned’ & would object to her dating an American.
Why don’t they simply admit that they are racist against white people?
I once complained to a Chinese friend about the TV show SINGLE GUY in which a woman’s Chinese parents complained: ‘Why you no marry a Chinese boy!’
When I complained that this was racist, my friend dismissed this saying: ‘They’re not racist it’s just part of their culture’.
Well we used to have the White Australia Policy, was that just part of our culture?
Speaking of which, the SBS documentary IMMIGRATION NATION said that Japan went to the League of Nations wanting racial equality. They also tried to suggest that the White Australia policy was one of the causes of World War 2! Were they being serious?
The Japanese just wanted imperial equality. They still would have invaded Manchuria & subjugated the Chinese. They certainly didn’t treat them with racial equality when they did invade! But the doco makers didn’t accuse Japan of being racist they seemed to be saying the Japanese invasion was some sort of reaction to white racism.
The White Australia policy was really just a part of a greater European imperialism that the Japanese wanted to emulate. “If they can have an empire why can’t we?” If Britain invaded Australia in order to set up a British colony, it’s hardly surprising that they wanted to keep the country white.
SBS however, never tried to put the Australian policy into contest by showing all the other countries that had multi-racial policies that welcomed immigration from other races. Were there any at the time? Surely Japan had a ‘Japanese Japan Policy’ but this wasn’t mentioned.
It seems that television is only interested in the message that white people are racist, for everybody else it is just ‘their culture’ or simply being ‘old fashioned’.
The truth is that the whole world is full of racism. Australia is not only a multi-racial country but a multi-racist country. I certainly met a few racist foreigners at Australia Post. There were lots of people who wouldn’t date anybody who wasn’t the same race or religion. They wanted to keep segregated from the Australians.
I don’t see this racism reflected on television though. I only seem to see white skin head Nazis, Pauline Hanson or the White Australia policy. I suppose after centuries of European colonialism, it only seems fair, but it is hardly balanced & objective.
But I still live in hope that Leonard will call Raj a racist for a change & put the shoe on the other foot!
By Jonathan Scutt 4/11/11
I’ve read lots of criticism about the new version of TWO AND A HALF MEN with Ashton Kutcher. Personally I don’t mind the new series. I’ve always felt that John Cryer was the star of the show & that Charlie Sheen was almost the straight man. He’d set up the jokes & John would deliver the punch line. I also got tired of Charlie’s drinking, whoring & gambling. (This is probably because I never get to do any of that myself).
Ashton provides a new direction for the show to go into, but with his wife accusing him of being childish, Ashton is basically playing a variation of his Kelso character from THAT 70s SHOW. I do hope we see more of his collection of STAR WARS memorabilia.
Presumably if his wife has kicked him out then he should be living in the big house with the STAR WARS memorabilia & his wife should have moved out. Once again it is the man who gets dumped & kicked out of his own house. I wonder if there is a hidden agenda from one of the creators to get back at an ex-wife perhaps.
Anyway I shall continue to watch the show, but unlike many of the shows critics, I shall be looking forward to the lude sexual innuendos & dick jokes. After all they are the back bone of this comedy!
These sort of jokes also tend to be the back bone of my MIND PATROL sitcom. With references to porno videos such as DESPARATE ARSE WIVES & words that rhyme with Saudi Arabia it's hardly subtle family viewing. I think I’ll be relying on the audience from TWO AND A HALF MEN to watch my sitcom.
by Jonathan Scutt 4/11/11
I recently made an appearance in a Channel 31 sitcom as a rather creepy Professor. The show was called UNDERGRADS & I received the script via email, only to discover a reference to: ‘The professor molested me too when I was a student’.
“Oh great so now I’m a sex offender!”
I also discovered when the show went to air that they used a take where I fluffed my lines instead of the retake in which I attained acting perfection! But the challenge for any actor is to play any role put before them without complaining.
After all I had to be an extra in WILFRED II, a show I was never a fan of. I remember we had to do ‘mock cheering’ for one scene, pretending to cheer but remain silent so Jason & Adam could deliver their lines.
After they delivered their lines I thought to myself: ‘I had to be silent for that!’
On another occasion I was part of a studio audience for a show called DUX OR DUNCE. This turned out to be a bit of a throw away scene.
Personally I thought the day shooting in the ABC studios with elaborate sets, plus the 2 days of shooting a dog fight scene for a rather weak punch line was not my idea of value for money. I’m sure there are fans of WILFRED who consider those scenes acting perfection! It takes all sorts to make a world.
I’m sure if I ever get to make my sitcom SHUT UP! & the follow up MIND PATROL, people will be making the same sort of criticisms about them.
“I had to be silent for that!”
September 25th 2011 07:14
By Jonathan Scutt 25/9/11
I’ve just been to see Johnny English Reborn before I saw Margaret & David’s review of it on The Movie Show! Unlike David I found it just as good as the original with Johnny English actually a bit more Bond like than in his previous incarnation. His arrogance & self delusion are just as strong as ever, but his bumbling stupidity seems to be equally matched by his new found skills developed in that Tibetan monastery.
I don’t know what happen to Natalie Imbrugglia. There is no mention of her or her departure. Perhaps she was killed at the end of the previous film in the ejector seat, or more likely she divorced Johnny for incompetence. Then again his incompetence must have been an attraction to begin with or else she wouldn’t have married him. It was certainly in evidence.
It was also nice to see Rowan team up with Tim McInnerny again. They seemed to return to their Blackadder & Captain Darling routine. It was a pity Ben Miller didn’t return as Boff but then again Johnny English really needs a new side kick each time so that familiarity won’t breed contempt, (at least not in the short term).
Austin Powers appeared in 3 films, I wonder if we can expect a third offering from Johnny English. The return of Johnny English might have people expecting a return of Edmond Blackadder in a feature length movie. Blackadder in Outer Space perhaps or Blackadder saves the world! At the end of the last offering, Blackadder Back and Forth from 2000, he had become King of England & Baldrick was Prime Minister. I suppose you can’t really top that.
David Stratton may prefer Mr Bean but I prefer Johnny English. Perhaps we can have a Johnny English sitcom series. It would be like a return to Get Smart.
Jonathan Scutt 15/8/11
Recently I went to the pictures to see the final Harry Potter film & when I left the theatre I saw a poster for the upcoming film JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN with Rowan Atkinson. This was a film I had been gasping to see & had been hoping there would be a sequel to the James Bond spoof JOHNNY ENGLISH from 2003. I had to sit thru a series of promos for over the top action films full of special effects. Maybe I’m too old to be impressed by slow motion explosions and computer generated stunts but it just didn’t appeal to me.
It was seeing this JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN poster that really got me excited. “Why couldn’t they have shown a promo for this film?” Somehow they managed to go thru the long convoluted process of making this sequel without me discovering their secret.
If you haven’t seen JOHNNY ENGLISH it’s a cross between James Bond, Get Smart, Mr Bean & Blackadder. Rowan Atkinson does a wonderful job as a blundering Maxwell Smart style secret agent. Physically he plays it like Mr. Bean but every time he opens his mouth it is very reminiscent of Blackadder. Ben Miller was fantastic as his side kick, playing it very close to Agent 99 but without the romantic undertones. Natalie Imbrugglia was alright I suppose. She was less like Agent 99 & more like Crocodile Dundee.
I will be looking forward to the release of this film and will be bracing myself for Margaret & David’s review on the ABC Movie Show. If it is scathing I will of course ignore them & see the film anyway. Hopefully I can pre-order the DVD on the way out of the theatre.
Will I leave the theatre & spot a poster for a 4th AUSTIN POWER’S movie? We can but dream.
By Jonathan Scutt 21/06/11
Having watched the debate over the live cattle trade on the TV & read about it in the papers, we’ve seen the MLA being blamed & the government being blamed, but at last we see Joe Ludwig admit that we can’t force Indonesia to use stun guns.
Apparently we just assumed that the Indonesians would do what we told them to do despite them being a sovereign country. Imagine if Indonesia told us they would ban all cattle imports unless Australia banned homosexuality or abortion! Would we understand their cultural sensitivities?
I haven’t seen any of the media interview a Muslim cleric about exactly what Halal slaughter is all about. Does it have to be so cruel? Why are people so opposed to stunning livestock? What is the religious significance? Maybe we don’t want to talk about religion in case it launches another Jihad. Maybe we just don’t care what other cultures or religions believe, we just expect them to do as we tell them. Maybe we just assume the Western values are always right.
It would be nice if all countries & cultures shared our view on the humane treatment of animals. It would also be nice it they could all afford to import our meat frozen instead of alive. Maybe the MLA should be spending money on building freezer works in Indonesia to store our frozen meat in.
As so often happens, the Greens & animal welfare people are making simplistic demands for an end to the live trade as if the Indonesians will see the error of their ways & be swayed by such hectoring. If you don’t negotiate with them intelligently, they will simply buy their cattle from another country with less stringent standards than ours. Then what will the Greens do?
By Jonathan Scutt 21/06/11
I was going to write to The Age Green Guide & attack Craig Mathieson for his review of The Big Bang Theory. He praised the show but then ruined it at the end by giving away the surprise ending to the season finale. Then I saw the Channel 9 promo & they gave away the surprise ending as well!
But then again when the ABC where replaying the classic Dr Who episodes, the Green Guide would regularly blab the secret identity of the villain or reveal the surprise twist in the plot right even before the screening of episode 1! Maybe I should stop buying the Green Guide & only watch the TV when my program is on to avoid seeing the promos.
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